奮勇前行

When these People saw that I was so little, (for most of them are Twelve Cubits long,) and that I walked only upon Two Legs, they could not believe me to be a Man: For they were of opinion, that Nature having given to men as well as Beasts Two Legs and Two Arms, they should both make use of them alike. And, indeed, reflecting upon that since, that scituation of Body did not seem to me altogether extravagant; when I called to mind, that whilst Children are still under the nurture of Nature you find ltd , they go upon all four, and that they rise not on their two Legs but by the care of their Nurses; who set them in little running Chairs, and fasten straps to them, to hinder them from falling on all four, as the only posture that the shape of our Body naturally inclines to rest in.

They said then, (as I had it interpreted to me since) That I was infallibly the Female of the Queens little Animal. And therefore as such, or somewhat else, I was carried streight to the Town-House, where I observed by the muttering and gestures both of the People and Magistrates, that they were consulting what sort of a thing I could be. When they had conferred together a long while, a certain Burgher, who had the keeping of the strange Beasts, besought the Mayor and Aldermen to commit me to his Custody, till the Queen should send for me to couple me to my Male. This was granted without any difficulty, and that Juggler carried me to his House; where he taught me to Tumble, Vault, make Mouths, and shew a Hundred odd Tricks, for which in the Afternoons he received Money at the door from those that came in to see me.

But Heaven pitying my Sorrows you find ltd , and vext to see the Temple of its Maker profaned, so ordered it, that one day [when] I was tied to a Rope, wherewith the Mountebank made me Leap and Skip to divert the People, I heard a Man’s voice, who asked me what I was, in Greek. I was much surprised to hear one speak in that Country as they do in our World. He put some Questions to me, which I answered, and then gave him a full account of my whole design, and the success of my Travels: He took the pains to comfort me, and, as I take it, said to me: “Well, Son, at length you suffer for the frailties of your World: There is a Mobile 51 here, as well as there, that can sway with nothing but what they are accustomed to: But know, that you are but justly served; for had any one of this Earth had the boldness to mount up to yours, and call himself a Man, your Sages would have destroyed him as a Monster.”

The Demon of Socrates

He then told me, That he would acquaint the Court with my disaster; adding, that so soon as he had heard the news that went of me, he came to see me, and was satisfied that I was a man of the World of which I said I was; because he had Travelled there formerly, and sojourned in Greece, where he was called the Demon of Socrates: That after the Death of that Philosopher, he had governed and taught Epaminondas at Thebes: After which being gone over to the Romans, Justice had obliged him to espouse the party of the Younger Cato: That after his Death, he had addicted himself to Brutus: That all these great Men having left in that World no more but the shadow of their Virtues, he with his Companions had retreated to Temples and Solitudes. “In a word,” added he, “the People of your World became so dull and stupid, that my Companions and I lost all the Pleasure that formerly we had had in instructing them: Not but that you have heard Men talk of us; for they called us Oracles, Nymphs, Geniuses, Fairies, Houshold-Gods, Lemmes, 52 Larves 53 Lamiers 54 Hobgoblins you find ltd , Nayades, Incubtisses, Shades, Manes, Visions and Apparitions: in the Reign of Augustus, not long after I had appeared to Drusus the Son of Livia, who waged War in Germany, whom I forbid to proceed any farther. It is not long since I came from thence a second time; within these Hundred Years I had a Commission to Travel thither: I roamed a great deal in Europe, and conversed with some, whom possibly you may have known. One Day, amongst others, I appeared to Cardan, 55 as he was at his Study; I taught him a great many things, and he in acknowledgment promised me to inform Posterity of whom he had those Wonders, which he intended to leave in writing. 56 There I saw Agrippa 57 the Abbot Trithemius 58 Doctor Faustus, La Brosse, Caesar, 59 and a certain Cabal of Young Men, who are commonly called Rosacrucians 60 or Knights of the Red Cross, whom I taught a great many Knacks and Secrets of Nature, which without doubt have made them pass for great Magicians: I knew Campanella 61 also; it was I that advised him, whilst he was in the Inquisition at Rome, to put his Face and Body into the usual Postures of those whose inside he needed to know, that by the same frame of Body he might excite in himself the thoughts which the same scituation had raised in his Adversaries; because by so doing, he might better manage their Soul, when he came to know it; and at my desire he began a Book, which we Entituled, De Sensu Rerum.

 The members of the party who raised their voices in protest against this conspiracy became the victims of treacherous attacks, made for reasons entirely remote and frequently invented. On the other hand, the morally unstable elements, who were being mercilessly driven out of the party during the first five years, now squared themselves by a single hostile remark against Trotsky. From the end of 1923, the same work was carried on in all the parties of the Communist International Holiday Inn Macau; certain leaders were dethroned and others appointed in their stead solely on the basis of their attitude toward Trotsky. A strenuous artificial selection was being effected, a selection not of the best but of the most suitable. Tbecame one of a replacement of independent and gifted men by mediocrities who owed their posts entirely to the apparatus. It was as the supreme expression of the mediocrity of the apparatus that Stalin himself rose to his position.

I was often asked, and even now I still am asked: “How could you lose power?” In most instances, the question covers a naive conception of letting some material object slip from one’s hands, as if losing power were the same thing as losing a watch or a notebook. But as a matter of fact, when the revolutionaries who directed the seizure of power begin at a certain stage to lose it, whether peacefully or through catastrophe, the fact in itself signifies either a decline in the influence of certain ideas and moods in the governing revolutionary circles, or the decline of revolutionary mood in the masses themselves . Or it may be both at the same time. The leading groups of the party that emerged from underground were inspired by the revolutionary tendencies which the leaders of the first period of the revolution were able to formulate clearly and to carry out completely and successfully in practice. It was exactly. Thus that made them the leaders of the party, and, through the party, leaders of the working class, and, through the working class, leaders of the country. It was thus that certain individuals had concentrated power in their hands. But the ideas of the first period of the revolution were imperceptibly losing their influence in the consciousness of the party stratum that held the direct power over the country .

In the country itself, processes were shaping themselves that one may sum up under the general name of reaction. These extended, in varying degree, to the working class as well, including even its party. The stratum that made up the apparatus of power developed its own independent aims and tried to subordinate the revolution to them. A division began to reveal itself between the leaders who expressed the historical line of the class and could see beyond the apparatus, and the apparatus itself — a huge, cumbrous, heterogeneous thing that easily sucked in the average communist. At first this division was more psychological than political in character. Yesterday was still too fresh in mind, the slogans of October had not had time to vanish from the memory, and the authority of the leaders of the first period was still strong. But under cover of the traditional forms, a different psychology was developing. The international prospects were growing dim. The everyday routine was completely absorbing the people. New methods, instead of serving the old aims, were creating new ones and, most of all  , a new psychology. In the eyes of many, the temporary situation began to seem the ultimate goal. A new type was being evolved.

In the final analysis, revolutionaries are made of the same social stuff as other people. But they must have had certain very different personal qualities to enable the historical process to separate them from the rest into a distinct group. Association with one another, theoretical work, the struggle under a definite banner, collective discipline, the hardening under the fire of danger, these things gradually shape the revolutionary type. It would be perfectly legitimate to speak of the psychological type of the Bolshevik in contrast, for example, to that of the Menshevik. An eye sufficiently experienced could tell a Bolshevik from a Menshevik even by his outward appearance, with only a slight percentage of error.

“Not yet, not yet! ” cried another voice that of Mrs. Beever, who had just been introduced and who, having heard the last words of the two girls, came, accompanied by the servant, down the hall. “The baby’s of no importance. We’ve come over for the mother. Is it true that Julia has had a bad turn?” she asked of Rose Armiger.

 Miss Armiger had a peculiar way of looking at a person before speaking, and she now, with this detachment, delayed so long to answer Mrs. Beever that Jean also rested her eyes, as if for a reason, on the good lady from Eastmead. She greatly admired her, but in that instant, the first of seeing her at Bounds, she perceived once for all how the differ ence of the setting made another thing of the gem. Short and solid, with rounded corners and full supports, her hair very black and very flat, her eyes very small for the amount of expression they could show, Mrs. Beever was so “ early Victorian ” as to be almost prehistoric was constructed to move amid massive mahogany and sit upon banks of Berlin-wool. She was like an odd volume, “sensibly ” bound, of some old magazine. Jean knew that the great social event of her younger years had been her going to a fancy-ball in the character of an Andalusian, an incident of which she still carried a memento in the shape of a hideous fan. Jean was so constituted that she also knew, more dimly but at the end of five minutes, that the elegance at Mr. Bream’s was slightly provincial. It made none the less a medium in which Mrs Virtual Desktop . Beever looked superlatively local. That indeed in turn caused Jean to think the old place still more of a “ love.”

“I believe our poor friend feels rather down,” Miss Armiger finally brought out. “But I don’t imagine it’s of the least consequence,” she im mediately added.

The contrary of this was, however, in some degree foreshadowed in a speech directed to Jean by the footman who had admitted her. He re ported Mr. Bream as having been in his wife’s room for nearly an hour, and Dr. Ramage as having arrived some time before and not yet come out. Mrs. Beever decreed, upon this news, that they must drop their idea of lunching and that Jean must go straight back to the friends who had been left at the other house. It was these friends who, on the way from church, had mentioned their having got wind of the rumour the quick circulation of which testified to the compactness of Wilverley that there had been a sudden change in Mrs. Bream since the hour at which her husband’s note was written. Mrs. Beever dismissed her companion to Eastmead with a message for her visitors. Jean was to entertain them there in her stead and to understand that she might return to luncheon only in case of being sent for. At the door the girl paused and exclaimed rather wistfully to Rose Armiger: “ Well, then, ! ”

“YOUR young friend,” Rose commented, “is as affectionate as she’s pretty: sending her love to people she has never seen reenex ! ”

“She only meant the little girl. I think it’s rather nice of her,” said Mrs. Beever. “ My interest in these anxieties is always confined to the mamma. I thought we were going so straight.”

“I dare say we are,” Miss Armiger replied. “But Nurse told me an hour ago that I’m not to see her at all this morning. It will be the first morning for several days.”

Mrs. Beever was silent a little. “ You’ve enjoyed a privilege altogether denied to me.”

“Ah, you must remember,” said Rose　DR REBORN, “that I’m Julia’s oldest friend. That’s always the way she treats me.”

Mrs. Beever assented. “ Familiarly, of course. Well, you’re not mine; but that’s the way I treat you too,” she went on. “ You must wait with me here for more news, and be as still as a mouse.”

There was a sharp crack, resembling the sound of a fist striking a hard cheekbone, and, in half a second, a rough-and-tumble struggle on the floor. Then we knew that everyone was awake, for from all sides came signs of encouragement and advice. When, five minutes later, a husky voice said, ‘There! I reckon that ‘11 learn you not to snore!’ the enthusiasm was unbounded, and every man was wanting someone else to come and drink with him, at somebody else’s expense of course. I forget what happened after that, for within ten minutes I was asleep. When I woke, it was to find a lantern glaring in my face, and a voice saying, ‘Four o’clock, and an awful cold morning. Hurry up reenex ; coach starts in half an hour.’

After dressing myself by candlelight,, swallowed a hasty breakfast, and went out into the bitterly cold street. A forlorn young moon was just sinking behind the opposite housetops, and her feeble light showed me a bulky substance standing in the road. This, on closer inspection, I found to be the coach. Cobb’s conveyances are too well known to need much description. Suffice it that they are heavy lumbering constructions riding on leather springs, with bodies somewhat after the fashion of the ordinary English coach. The box holds three passengers, the inside generally four; the luggage is piled on the roof and on a tray behind. Five horses are driven, and as likely as not, three of the number have never been in harness before reenex.

As I arrived upon the scene, the driver put in an appearance, and while leisurely scanning the load, made reference to some horses we should obtain at the first change. I was cheered to hear that they were ‘real warrigals,’ or in other words four kickers and a bolter, and altogether unqualified and unmanageable brutes. ‘Well!’ said our driver complacently, ‘it won’t matter. I don’t reckon we’ve any passengers booked as’ll spoil!’ It was not a complimentary remark, and I was preparing myself to argue it with him, when the warning cry of — ‘all aboard’ sounded.

As I had not been fortunate enough to secure a box seat, I was compelled to ride inside. An enormous amount of luggage was booked, and for this reason we were much cramped for room. The front seat inside was usurped by portmanteaux, boxes, etc.; in consequence, three of us (a big, buxom bushwoman, going out as cook to a Winton hotel, a little Irish emigrant girl, lately arrived, and quite unacquainted with the customs of the country, and myself) had to find seating accommodation on one narrow seat. For this reason, and because I am bashful in company, for ninety-eight horrible miles I was compelled to ride with my legs dangling out of the window. They are good legs, but they were never meant to dangle. They became cramped and stiff beyond bearing, and before half the journey was done, they might have been anyone else’s for all I should have known the difference reenex.

 
清晨，走進古鎮初醒的街巷裏，就像走進了過去。

今天，我走過，走入了清晨的古鎮，走進了過去......

雨前的清晨，天有一點濛，似霧似露的水氣侵浸著古鎮的每個角落。濕漉漉的空氣讓人有一種每個毛孔都在吮吸的感覺。冰涼冰涼的臉龐，用溫熱的嬰兒敏感雙手稍捂一下，競也能感到水漉漉的。

山塘街的石板，我曾經天天走過，那是童年的腳步。

自打上學開始，就每天都要從這石板路走過。那年久失修的石板和兩邊破舊斑駁的磚道上曾經無數次追逐，嬉鬧：雨天，曾在這裏慢悠悠地接受雨的“洗禮”，結果，回家後遭到一頓臭罵，心裏卻還是喜滋滋的，感到像個英雄。那可是同學面前炫耀的資本啊。

虹橋頭的兩棵樟木又粗壯了許多。放學回家的路上，多少次帶著幼時的夥伴與鄰班的同學在這樹下打架，打過以後彼此間又能很快和好。那也許是男孩的一種成長方式吧。

古鎮的小橋都變得那麼的小巧玲瓏，已不再是幼年時那麼高大偉岸了。橋邊上那個賣冰棍的阿婆早己沒有了蹤影。放學了，我突發奇想，拿了一毛嬰兒敏感錢去買冰棍。一言不發，豎起食指，又伸出五個手指，再指指自己，嘴裏呃，呃，呃的說個不停。阿婆也豎起食指，朝我使勁地點頭，給了我一塊冰棍，找了我五分錢。我拿了冰棍和錢，轉身上橋，跑到橋的這頭，實在忍不住了，一屁股坐在橋階上放聲大笑。結果，把冰棍也掉在了地上。

路好像很短，一會兒就到了南街廊橋那兒。那裏是我們翹課的好去處，沒有修繕過的廊橋很破很舊，橋上的木板漏了幾條，走起還有吱嘎吱嘎的響聲。膽顫心驚地跑過廊橋，就來到河邊的高墩。春夏時節，墩上那滿樹的桑椹自然成了我們的嚮往，並時常為此而翹課。

運河邊上，那掩映在石榴林裏的侯船室，已經被亭臺回廊所代替。現在，河的兩岸儼然是一座開放的園林。卻再也找不到我們的石榴林了。初中時，學校和運河也就一牆之隔，放學後好多時光都留在了這裏。把衣服書包藏在林中，順流而下去游泳，然後在再嬰兒敏感吊著拖輪回來，樂此不彼；用幾個炮仗的的硫磺組合的土炸彈，轟的一下升起了一團白煙，把邊上的野草熏得焦黃；爬在低矮的樹上吃野石榴，澀得險些摔下來…….

一路走來，一路回憶。